There are times when you feel like flushing yourself down the toilet simply to put yourself out of the excruciating misery that has claimed you for its own. Yesterday, Friday the 13th was one of those days. I had caught the mother of all things monstrous - the cold virus. And to make matters worse my daughters had it to. Spent the day cuddling the babies and trying to make them feel better about having their noses forcibly cleaned to get rid of the bucket loads of phlegm that had taken up residence.
The elder one broke my heart by shrinking away from me and howling for her daddy every time I approached her, as if in her book I was nothing less than the Boogeyman and the ugly witch combined. Unfortunately, the virus does little to enhance my looks and I must have looked quite scary to her with my red nose, deathly pallor, and streaming eyes armed as I was with the dreaded hanky and noxious antibiotic. As for the baby she whimpered miserably bearing up with the stoicism of the young and made me wanna cry along with her. Finally, I got them to sleep but there was little relief to be had for me.
Could not fall asleep as my lousy cold simply wouldn't let me. Drank hot water laced with honey by the gallon. It is my personal remedy to ease the pain inflicted by the torture device that has plagued mankind since the dawn of time and which is destined to do so till computers take over our mind and then the world after laying waste to it. Anyways it works quite well, for me and people like me who hate medicines and will not touch it unless their life literally depends on it. And I have always ignored naysayers who have disparaged my brilliant yet simple remedy and gone on record behind my back to say all education has done is make an idiot out of me.
Loaded with honey and hot water, I made myself as comfortable as possible and proceeded to read Julie Garwood's 'Murder List'. It is about a hot, do - gooder heiress who is pursued by a serial killer and sexed up by a tough cop. I gleefully devoured Ms Garwood's literary offering with its liberal doses of blood and romance and was thankful for the release it offered me from the twin terrors of phlegm and a tormented throat. More importantly it had helped me survive Friday the 13th and kept me from the clutches of my murderous toilet.
This is a true story of survival in the face of adversity and how something as humble as honey and hot water plus a racy novel can make the difference between life and death. I hope people draw their inspiration from it. Let my saga of suffering be a lesson to all - WE SHALL OVERCOME :)