Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Fat Girfriend

Roger Federer is probably the greatest player that ever picked up a tennis racket. Little argument there. That being said, I hate him. He is like some sort of creepy Swiss version of the Terminator. C'mon! it is unfair to pit machines against mere mortals! On court his choices with regard to shot selection are near perfect but his choices off the court have been heavily criticized, particularly in girlfriends.
Fed's been with Miroslava "Mirka" Vavrinec since the Sydney Olympics, 2000. The good folks on this planet cannot believe someone of his stature can have a FAT girlfriend. Usually athletes are overpaid, given demigod status, and are expected to hang out with anorexic supermodels or bulimic pop - tartlets. Lewis Hamilton's pussycat doll and Pete Sampras's B - grade hollywood actress wife were accepted without a whimper. But poor Mirka and Fed have come in for a lot of heat. All kinds of aspersions have been cast on the poor guys sexuality and masculinity. Some believe he is actually gay and Mirka is a huge cover - up. OH MY GOD! I am so disgusted. Seriously people can be so ridiculous at times.
Personally the only thing I like about Fed is his plump and pretty gal. I think she offers hope to plus - sized women all over the world who would have hitherto thought that uber - successful, alpha males are the exclusive property of skinny babe types who probably eat less than Somalian starvation victims. Good luck to the two of them. And Fed, get off the court, give the mortals a chance dude!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Monstrous Drivers of Monster Vehicles

I hate truck drivers, bus drivers, and other monstrous drivers of monster vehicles. I am sure anyone who has ever had the chance to hit the highway will have similar views. They drive like they own the road, rashly, imperiously, and are usually chewing betel leaves which they feel free to spit on your beloved and well - cared for car. I repeat, I hate em. They should all be castrated and quartered and hung out to dry. I may have lost some of you at this point but allow me to elaborate.
This morning's paper recorded another of their heinous, careless, callous acts and left me baying for blood. A Tamil Nadu State Transport Corporation bus driver moved his vehicle before a 11 - year old could alight from the front exit. And the result? She fell on the road and the hind wheels ran over her hip, crushing her genitals and uterus. Her ilium (the largest bone in the pelvis) was fractured and the urinary tract, mangled. The doctors sewed her large intestine outside her stomach, with the result that her faecal matter will have to be collected in a bag. She also has to urinate through a tube. Suvanthiri (the girl's name) has been living this way for 10 years and the doctors have opined that her condition may be permanent. And the bloody bus driver? He is probably out somewhere drinking and whoring and driving like a madman endangering all who are unfortunate enough to cross his path.
I said it before and I'll say it again. Death to the Monsters and their lousy vehicles1

All Girls’ Boarding Schools: The Unadulterated Truth about Life in No Man’s Land

I was educated in a boarding school for girls and therefore, consider myself quite an authority on the subject. Having established my credentials, the next step would be to dispel the average reader’s somewhat erroneous notions about the said establishment. It is commonly believed that life in a no man’s land is singularly boring, unnaturally ordered, and the residents are not unlike Carmelite nuns. Most men reminiscent of their Neanderthal ancestors assert that it is the stuff their wildest fantasies are made of. Others of a less perverted and more pseudo – intellectual bent of mind claim that girls belonging to such schools are deprived of love, affection and other trappings of non – residential institutes and are therefore traumatized individuals who develop into raving nymphomaniacs or frigid, neurotic women. I beg to differ on all counts.
There have been times when I felt that my life was too sheltered and lacking in exposure to the outer world thanks to the nuns who ran the school with clock – like precision. There were strict rules and stricter restrictions about fraternization with members of the opposite sex. But this did not make for a boring existence. After all, a little enforced spirituality and abstinence never hurt anyone. Moreover, we got to enjoy a delightful interlude before being thrust headlong into a world where women are forced to share living space with their beer – swilling, sports channel – watching, lingerie model – ogling, gross – smelling male counterparts. And we certainly did not live like nuns. The days were chock – full of activities that were designed to help us grow as individuals. From trekking into the neighboring hills, singing songs around the campfire, organizing midnight parties (that usually consisted of a few loaves of bread stolen from the kitchen), putting up shows to raise money for charity… we did it all. So much adventure, so much fun! Thus cloistered or otherwise boarding school was the cocoon that nourished us and prepared us for our eventual foray into the big bad world that waited outside with its jaws wide open.
This blogger has nothing to say to the testosterone fuelled individuals whose puerile views pertaining to girls’ hostels truly boggle the mind, for fear of offending the delicate sensibilities of some of my more sensitive readers. Save one thing: Throw away your “Girls Gone Wild” DVDs now! And an IQ test would not go amiss either.
Finally, for those who state that boarding schools weaken familial ties leading to disastrous consequences like priming the girls for future appearances on “Notorious Women” lists, let me say that parents shape and mould their children, long distances notwithstanding. I am very close to my parents and they have been the foundation on which my life is built. The same cannot be said however for all my day – student buddies. Dysfunctional families exist and parents from such families do not necessarily send their children to boarding schools. So it is unfair to blame boarding schools for all the ills of a deeply troubled world.
The defense rests.

The Grand Entrance!

Hello visitor,
Thank you so much for stopping by!
This blog is a record of the crazy workings of my crazier mind. Thus I am calling it "The Meandering Mind". I figured the only way to give vent to my out of control mind without getting into trouble with the law was to start blogging :)
The topics I am likely to post my thoughts on are likely to be varied in the extreme, ranging from euthanesia and abortion to the latest antics of the tween queens (for the uninitiated, i was referring to Lindsay Lohan and others of her ilk).
And without further ado, I give you... THE MEANDERING MIND!
P.S: You are welcome to feed on my thoughts, they are fat - free!